15 Things You've Always Wanted To Ask A Stripper

By Michael Peckerar

We all look down on strippers, but they’re actually just making an honest living.  They punch a clock like the rest of us.  But it’s a profession shrouded in mystery, so your questions are likely plentiful.

15 Things You\'ve Always Wanted To Ask A Stripper
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15. "Do you have to cross-train at all for this?"

15. "Do you have to cross-train at all for this?"

Swinging on a pole looks hard. It seems like it's pretty athletic, too. Do you have to hit the gym to perfect your pole swinging and crotch shaking skills? Is there a weight machine for that?

14. "Did the dance classes your parents took you to as a kid help you land this gig?"

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You have to imagine a few years of jazz and tap would be an advantage over the other aplicants.

14. "Did the dance classes your parents took you to as a kid help you land this gig?"

You have to imagine a few years of jazz and tap would be an advantage over the other aplicants.

13. "What is it you're actually studying in school?"

13. "What is it you're actually studying in school?"

They all say they're paying their way through school. But did you ever notice it's rare you meet an ex-stripper cardiologist? There's not many stripper/historians out there. Maybe a couple who are teachers, but c'mon.

12. "What do you guys do when you get off work?"

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Not that we want to follow you, but how does one unwind after a long shift of taking your clothes off for strangers? Dennys? Driving range? Roll a doobie in the parking lot?

12. "What do you guys do when you get off work?"

Not that we want to follow you, but how does one unwind after a long shift of taking your clothes off for strangers? Dennys? Driving range? Roll a doobie in the parking lot?

11. "How do you write this up on your taxes?"

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"Dancer" is a legit profession to list on there, but what about all that money in your g-string? Do you get a W2? Do you have to keep track yourself? If you get audited, do you bring the g-string?

11. "How do you write this up on your taxes?"

"Dancer" is a legit profession to list on there, but what about all that money in your g-string? Do you get a W2? Do you have to keep track yourself? If you get audited, do you bring the g-string?

10. "How did clear platform heels become the official uniform?"

Credit: Twitter
Do they provide a specific type of arch support? Are they weighted for pole spinning? Do you have a special non-slip tread on the bottom? Does Foot Locker have a special section for them in the back?

10. "How did clear platform heels become the official uniform?"

Do they provide a specific type of arch support? Are they weighted for pole spinning? Do you have a special non-slip tread on the bottom? Does Foot Locker have a special section for them in the back?

9. "Is the pole coated with any sort of lubricant?"

9. "Is the pole coated with any sort of lubricant?"

A brass pole like that, you'd think skin would stick and catch on it. Or there'd be that squeak like basketball shoes make. Or is it coated with something sticky to keep you on it?

8. "Is there a union of some sort?"

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Do you get health benefits? Is there a special insurance against pole-related injury? Have they ever gone on strike? Who's the delegate for your local?

8. "Is there a union of some sort?"

Do you get health benefits? Is there a special insurance against pole-related injury? Have they ever gone on strike? Who's the delegate for your local?

7. "Is there a National Competition?"

7. "Is there a National Competition?"

Like how bartenders and firefighters have skills competitions -- is competitive stripping a thing? Would you get graded on style or difficulty? Are the German judges as harsh as they are in the Olympics?

6. "Do you have to pay Def Leppard royalties every time you use 'Pour Some Sugar On Me'?"

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Technically, you're making money off of their song. So... is that how they're staying rich all these years?

6. "Do you have to pay Def Leppard royalties every time you use 'Pour Some Sugar On Me'?"

Technically, you're making money off of their song. So... is that how they're staying rich all these years?

5. "How often do you pull a quad muscle?"

5. "How often do you pull a quad muscle?"

Probably a lot, right? Or would it usually be a hammie? Do you have to stretch before your shift?

4. "Is 'Showgirls' like your training video?"

4. "Is 'Showgirls' like your training video?"

Or would it probably be "Striptease"? Is that how you learn all the moves?

3. "Do you have to use special sweat-proof makeup?"

3. "Do you have to use special sweat-proof makeup?"

It's pretty warm under those lights. Not to mention that looks pretty strenuous. Do you have to use a certain kind of makeup to keep from sweating it off?

2. "Do you get to pick out your own outfits?"

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Does the boss have to approve them? Are there guidelines? How many pieces of flair are the minimum?

2. "Do you get to pick out your own outfits?"

Does the boss have to approve them? Are there guidelines? How many pieces of flair are the minimum?

1. "How awkward is Thanksgiving?"

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Do you even have an answer for "So what have you been up to?" anymore? Aunt Edith can tell you're working, what do you tell her? Or do you? How many smoke breaks do you take with Cindy and Todd's 16 year old son?

1. "How awkward is Thanksgiving?"

Do you even have an answer for "So what have you been up to?" anymore? Aunt Edith can tell you're working, what do you tell her? Or do you? How many smoke breaks do you take with Cindy and Todd's 16 year old son?