17 Questions You've Always Wanted To Ask A Female Porn Star (Answered)

By Brenna Smith

From VHS to Blu-ray to the internet, pornography has shaped technologies and the world around it, yet it’s still taboo to talk about. Porn is just one of those professions that gets a bad rap in dominant society, even though the vast majority of folks watch it.

Because of this, there’s probably a lot you’ve wondered about porn, how it’s made and the people who make it. Well, wonder no more! I was lucky enough to sit down with two beautiful performers, one well established and the other just starting out, and ask them 17 questions about the industry.

Lily Cade is a veteran porn star, billed as porn valley’s gold star lesbian. She’s never been with a man, and has had sex with at least 300 women on camera. She can be found at LilyCade.com or followed on twitter @Lily_Cade (both of those are not safe for work. Duh).

Harlow Harlot is a BBW porn performer (not quite a star yet), just getting her start in the business. She’s worked with James Deen and Danny Wylde, and can often be found on MyFreeCams, JamesDeen.com and twitter @Harlow_Harlot (ditto on the not safe for work thing).

Check out what they had to say about the business!

RELATED: 11 Questions You’ve Always Wanted To Ask A Dominatrix (Answered)

Brenna Smith is a writer for Rant, Inc. Follow her on Twitter @BatBrenna or add her to your network on Google.

 

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17. How Do You Get In To That Work?

Credit: Lily Cade
Lily: "I answered an ad on craigslist, discovered I really liked the work, and started approaching companies directly. A lot of adult actors get work through one of several adult talent agencies in the San Fernando Valley. Some agencies have recruiters who seek out female talent, but even my small company gets a lot of applications for models. It’s easy to get a few 'new girl' gigs, harder to stay long term. There are more women looking for porn jobs than there are porn jobs."

17. How Do You Get In To That Work?

Lily: "I answered an ad on craigslist, discovered I really liked the work, and started approaching companies directly. A lot of adult actors get work through one of several adult talent agencies in the San Fernando Valley. Some agencies have recruiters who seek out female talent, but even my small company gets a lot of applications for models. It’s easy to get a few 'new girl' gigs, harder to stay long term. There are more women looking for porn jobs than there are porn jobs."

16. What Kind Of Stigma Have You Faced For Doing Porn?

Credit: Lily Cade
Lily: "I’ve gotten a lot of hate on the Internet, but mostly I laugh that off. Internet hate is just sad. I once had someone opt not to work on a mainstream project that I was involved in because of what I do for a living, but we made the project anyway."
Harlow: "'Filthy disease ridden whore.' That's a direct quote. The worst reaction is from women who think I'm hurting feminism.

16. What Kind Of Stigma Have You Faced For Doing Porn?

Lily: "I’ve gotten a lot of hate on the Internet, but mostly I laugh that off. Internet hate is just sad. I once had someone opt not to work on a mainstream project that I was involved in because of what I do for a living, but we made the project anyway."
Harlow: "'Filthy disease ridden whore.' That's a direct quote. The worst reaction is from women who think I'm hurting feminism.

15. Do You Get Input On Who You Perform With?

Credit: twitter - @lily_cade
Lily: "It depends. I’ve shown up on set with no idea who my scene partner was going to be, but usually I know beforehand. Some directors ask for performer input, and if I really like a girl, I’ll try to get someone to hire us together. One time in New York, I was booked with a hot teen and when I got to set, my scene partner had been changed to a sixty five year old woman. Performers do have 'no lists' of people they don’t want to work with, usually enforced by the performer’s agent."

15. Do You Get Input On Who You Perform With?

Lily: "It depends. I’ve shown up on set with no idea who my scene partner was going to be, but usually I know beforehand. Some directors ask for performer input, and if I really like a girl, I’ll try to get someone to hire us together. One time in New York, I was booked with a hot teen and when I got to set, my scene partner had been changed to a sixty five year old woman. Performers do have 'no lists' of people they don’t want to work with, usually enforced by the performer’s agent."

14. Have You Ever Been Recognized Outside Porn?

Credit: twitter - @Harlow_Harlot
Lily: "I get recognized all the time. I’ve f***** a couple of fans who clocked me. I was once let into a bar with no ID because the bouncer knew who I was. Sometimes people come up to me and ask me if we’ve met. If I don’t know them, I’ll ask them if they watch a lot of porn. I love watching their faces when they make the connection."
Harlow: "This gay guy at this restaurant near my campus was staring me down and came over and sat down and showed me a picture of myself topless on Twitter. It had just been tweeted cause my scene came out. He was like, 'you go girl.'"

14. Have You Ever Been Recognized Outside Porn?

Lily: "I get recognized all the time. I’ve f***** a couple of fans who clocked me. I was once let into a bar with no ID because the bouncer knew who I was. Sometimes people come up to me and ask me if we’ve met. If I don’t know them, I’ll ask them if they watch a lot of porn. I love watching their faces when they make the connection."
Harlow: "This gay guy at this restaurant near my campus was staring me down and came over and sat down and showed me a picture of myself topless on Twitter. It had just been tweeted cause my scene came out. He was like, 'you go girl.'"

13. Does Your Family Know?

Credit: Lily Cade
Lily: "My mother doesn’t know (I wrote an essay about it for this book), but the rest of my family (my sister and in-laws) do know and are supportive. Most performers tell their families if they make a career of this rather than just shoot a few scenes."

13. Does Your Family Know?

Lily: "My mother doesn’t know (I wrote an essay about it for this book), but the rest of my family (my sister and in-laws) do know and are supportive. Most performers tell their families if they make a career of this rather than just shoot a few scenes."

12. What's The Most Difficult Scene You've Done?

Credit: JamesDeen.com
Harlow: "Bleh, food orgy. It was... gross. Never again."
Lily: "I was on a train to New Jersey... when I got the news that my grandfather had died. I knew my grandfather was sick, but he’d told me not to cancel the trip. I took myself to the bathroom and let myself cry a little bit and then put my feelings away. When we got to the set, the other girl was an absolute nightmare to work with... she had apparently developed a heroin habit. She was making no effort to connect with me, being lazy and just really not working, so all of the work of the sex scene fell on me."

12. What's The Most Difficult Scene You've Done?

Harlow: "Bleh, food orgy. It was... gross. Never again."
Lily: "I was on a train to New Jersey... when I got the news that my grandfather had died. I knew my grandfather was sick, but he’d told me not to cancel the trip. I took myself to the bathroom and let myself cry a little bit and then put my feelings away. When we got to the set, the other girl was an absolute nightmare to work with... she had apparently developed a heroin habit. She was making no effort to connect with me, being lazy and just really not working, so all of the work of the sex scene fell on me."

11. How Does It Impact Your Relationships?

Credit: twitter - @Lily_Cade
Lily: "I got into porn a few months after I married my college sweetheart, and we’re still together. She works behind the camera (pictured), shooting for me and others. We’ve never been monogamous, so the sex part was never an issue, although porn changed me in some ways that she didn’t like (mostly related to developing a more feminine appearance)."
Harlow: "Yes and no. I have understanding partners. One of them had a few issues but we were able to work them out. Communication is a big part of neither of them being jealous."

11. How Does It Impact Your Relationships?

Lily: "I got into porn a few months after I married my college sweetheart, and we’re still together. She works behind the camera (pictured), shooting for me and others. We’ve never been monogamous, so the sex part was never an issue, although porn changed me in some ways that she didn’t like (mostly related to developing a more feminine appearance)."
Harlow: "Yes and no. I have understanding partners. One of them had a few issues but we were able to work them out. Communication is a big part of neither of them being jealous."

10. Is Porn Easier For Men Or Women?

Credit: twitter - @JamesDeen and @Harlow_Harlot
Lily: "It’s vastly easier for women to get booked for a scene and to get into porn in general, but harder to sustain a long term career. There are far fewer, real working male talent than female talent, but the guys who are good can work every day. In general, women’s rates are higher than men's but the top male talent makes as much if not more than the women."
Harlow: "Women. It's easier for all types of women to at least break into porn. I'm not quite up to beauty standards, but I still broke in. "

10. Is Porn Easier For Men Or Women?

Lily: "It’s vastly easier for women to get booked for a scene and to get into porn in general, but harder to sustain a long term career. There are far fewer, real working male talent than female talent, but the guys who are good can work every day. In general, women’s rates are higher than men's but the top male talent makes as much if not more than the women."
Harlow: "Women. It's easier for all types of women to at least break into porn. I'm not quite up to beauty standards, but I still broke in. "

9. Do You Get Off While Performing?

Credit: twitter - @Lily_Cade
Lily: "I love it, but I also get off very hard on being watched and on getting my partner off. It’s not always the most comfortable sex, but it is high energy and wild, which is what I like. My biggest fetish is being someone else’s fantasy."
Harlow: "It depends on my coworker. Just like it depends on partners in my personal life. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't."

9. Do You Get Off While Performing?

Lily: "I love it, but I also get off very hard on being watched and on getting my partner off. It’s not always the most comfortable sex, but it is high energy and wild, which is what I like. My biggest fetish is being someone else’s fantasy."
Harlow: "It depends on my coworker. Just like it depends on partners in my personal life. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't."

8. How Is Porn Different For Women And Men?

Credit: JamesDeen.com
Lily: "Male talent has to be able to run a scene - control the position changes and pacing, deliver the pop shot on cue and not before - even if the girl is inexperienced or disinterested. Being a good porn star takes work and skill (it’s as much about connection as it is about looking hot) but the industry will shoot girls who just look good and trust the guy to make the scene happen. Not so much the other direction."

8. How Is Porn Different For Women And Men?

Lily: "Male talent has to be able to run a scene - control the position changes and pacing, deliver the pop shot on cue and not before - even if the girl is inexperienced or disinterested. Being a good porn star takes work and skill (it’s as much about connection as it is about looking hot) but the industry will shoot girls who just look good and trust the guy to make the scene happen. Not so much the other direction."

7. Have You Played Parodies Of People Or Characters? Who's Your Favorite?

Credit: YouTube
Lily: "My favorite character is 'Officer Cade' my dirty cop from 'F*** The Police,' 'Lesbian Lock Up' and many scenes at LilyCade.com. I also played Rachel Maddow in 'Between The Headlines.' I even sent her a copy of the movie."

7. Have You Played Parodies Of People Or Characters? Who's Your Favorite?

Lily: "My favorite character is 'Officer Cade' my dirty cop from 'F*** The Police,' 'Lesbian Lock Up' and many scenes at LilyCade.com. I also played Rachel Maddow in 'Between The Headlines.' I even sent her a copy of the movie."

6. Are You Afraid Of STDs?

Credit: twitter - @Lily_Cade
Lily: "As a lesbian who has never had sex with a man, I’m not worried about STDs. Porn is also a relatively safe environment... In the professional industry, we get tested every two weeks for a full panel of STDs, and can’t work without the test. It doesn’t mean no one ever comes down with something, but it does mean infections are treated quickly and partners are informed."
Harlow: "No. I'm more afraid of them in my personal life. The adult industry is extremely thorough with testing. Most people can't remember the last time they even thought about being tested. "

6. Are You Afraid Of STDs?

Lily: "As a lesbian who has never had sex with a man, I’m not worried about STDs. Porn is also a relatively safe environment... In the professional industry, we get tested every two weeks for a full panel of STDs, and can’t work without the test. It doesn’t mean no one ever comes down with something, but it does mean infections are treated quickly and partners are informed."
Harlow: "No. I'm more afraid of them in my personal life. The adult industry is extremely thorough with testing. Most people can't remember the last time they even thought about being tested. "

5. What Won't You Do? What Are Common No-Nos?

Credit: twitter - @Harlow_Harlot
Lily: "I don’t f*** men and I don’t masturbate, but I’m a little weird. Generally speaking, there’s a ladder for porn sex acts. It goes solo, girl/girl, boy/girl, anal, extras. You have girls who don’t do boys but very few girls who don’t do girls. Many porn girls also decline to shoot 'interracial' scenes (i.e. black men). I’ve heard reasons ranging from d*** size to 'my mama didn’t raise me that way.'"
Harlow: "I have some kink hard limits. I feel like anal is a big one for girls at first. It was one of mine. But now I'm like, yeah, all about it."

5. What Won't You Do? What Are Common No-Nos?

Lily: "I don’t f*** men and I don’t masturbate, but I’m a little weird. Generally speaking, there’s a ladder for porn sex acts. It goes solo, girl/girl, boy/girl, anal, extras. You have girls who don’t do boys but very few girls who don’t do girls. Many porn girls also decline to shoot 'interracial' scenes (i.e. black men). I’ve heard reasons ranging from d*** size to 'my mama didn’t raise me that way.'"
Harlow: "I have some kink hard limits. I feel like anal is a big one for girls at first. It was one of mine. But now I'm like, yeah, all about it."

4. What About Your Period?

Credit: Lily Cade
Lily: "Two words: sea sponge. It used to be an animal, and now it’s an absorbent material that keeps the blood contained. Some girls will use a makeup sponge instead, but it’s worse for your body. Girls rarely cancel due to periods, though in severe cases it happens."
Harlow: "I had it happen during a scene unexpectedly. Just kinda wiped everything up and douched with water."

4. What About Your Period?

Lily: "Two words: sea sponge. It used to be an animal, and now it’s an absorbent material that keeps the blood contained. Some girls will use a makeup sponge instead, but it’s worse for your body. Girls rarely cancel due to periods, though in severe cases it happens."
Harlow: "I had it happen during a scene unexpectedly. Just kinda wiped everything up and douched with water."

3. How Has The Internet Affected Porn?

Credit: twitter - @Harlow_Harlot
Lily: "The Internet allowed porn to explode in the early 2000s, and has allowed a lot more niche content to be distributed. Tubesites and piracy, however, cut into our business. We’re at a place right now where porn isn’t really innovating and it’s very easy to get 'free' porn in the same way it’s easy to get 'free' HBO."
Harlow: "It has really forced the porn industry to evolve. Even I make my own porn at home. There's also no way to keep it from being pirated. Pay for your porn."

3. How Has The Internet Affected Porn?

Lily: "The Internet allowed porn to explode in the early 2000s, and has allowed a lot more niche content to be distributed. Tubesites and piracy, however, cut into our business. We’re at a place right now where porn isn’t really innovating and it’s very easy to get 'free' porn in the same way it’s easy to get 'free' HBO."
Harlow: "It has really forced the porn industry to evolve. Even I make my own porn at home. There's also no way to keep it from being pirated. Pay for your porn."

2. Is Porn A Lifelong Career Option?

Credit: Lily Cade
Lily: "The MILF genre is big, and women in their 30s and 40s often have successful porn careers. If you have control over production or otherwise have related revenue streams, it’s possible to have a sustained career in porn. However, once you’re past those first months of 'new girl' shine, the work part of the job gets a lot harder. Porn’s a hustle like any freelance job."
Harlow: "There are people who make careers out of it. They start as an actor and work their way to the directing chair and usually to a production company."

2. Is Porn A Lifelong Career Option?

Lily: "The MILF genre is big, and women in their 30s and 40s often have successful porn careers. If you have control over production or otherwise have related revenue streams, it’s possible to have a sustained career in porn. However, once you’re past those first months of 'new girl' shine, the work part of the job gets a lot harder. Porn’s a hustle like any freelance job."
Harlow: "There are people who make careers out of it. They start as an actor and work their way to the directing chair and usually to a production company."

1. How Does It Feel To Know People Are Getting Off To You?

Credit: twitter - @Lily_Cade
Lily: "I like it, although what feels even better is when people email me that I’ve changed their perception in some way. I’ve had girls tell me that I helped them realize they were bisexual. What feels the absolute best is when someone really groks the total package of my movies and appreciates the emotional/narrative component as well as just thinking it’s hot."
Harlow: "I adore it. It turns me on a bit. And I'm a little narcissistic."

1. How Does It Feel To Know People Are Getting Off To You?

Lily: "I like it, although what feels even better is when people email me that I’ve changed their perception in some way. I’ve had girls tell me that I helped them realize they were bisexual. What feels the absolute best is when someone really groks the total package of my movies and appreciates the emotional/narrative component as well as just thinking it’s hot."
Harlow: "I adore it. It turns me on a bit. And I'm a little narcissistic."