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10 Reasons Why Every Guy Should Have A Wingman

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No man is more important in a group of men than the designated wingman. Here are 10 reasons why every man should have one.

Tavon Perkins is a Senior Writer for Rant, Inc. Follow him on Twitter @TavonPerkins or add him to your network on Google.

 

 

10. Bail Money

Bail Money
Having a wingman is pretty handy if you find yourself behind jail bars. You and your partner in crime may even want to invest in a bail money fund to complement your beer fund.
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Having a wingman is pretty handy if you find yourself behind jail bars. You and your partner in crime may even want to invest in a bail money fund to complement your beer fund.

9. Hype Man

Hype Man
The wingman is just as important to single guys as a hype man is to rappers. If the guys next to you can bench press 280 pounds, the wingman lets the walking steroids know you can bench 320. The girl next to you never met a guy with a Porsche before. Guess what, the wingman lets her know you have a Porsche and Ferrari parked right now at his mom’s house. You never heard a guy freestyle before? My boy right here is the coldest rapper since Eminem picked up a mic.
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The wingman is just as important to single guys as a hype man is to rappers. If the guys next to you can bench press 280 pounds, the wingman lets the walking steroids know you can bench 320. The girl next to you never met a guy with a Porsche before. Guess what, the wingman lets her know you have a Porsche and Ferrari parked right now at his mom’s house. You never heard a guy freestyle before? My boy right here is the coldest rapper since Eminem picked up a mic.

8. Designated Driver

Designated Driver
Another reason to have a wingman is because you’ll always need a designated driver just in case. Drinking and driving isn’t cool, and any wingman with sense will make you hand over those keys.
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Another reason to have a wingman is because you’ll always need a designated driver just in case. Drinking and driving isn’t cool, and any wingman with sense will make you hand over those keys.

7. Medical Emergencies

Medical Emergencies
One more important reason to have a wingman around is in case any medical emergencies arise. You never know when you’ll need a kidney or help setting a bone back in place. You may even want to make sure you and your wingman share the same blood type. This is just in case you find yourself in a hospital in need of a transfusion after diving off a bar stool and slashing your neck open pretending to be Iron Man. Trust me, this scenario happens more often than you think.
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One more important reason to have a wingman around is in case any medical emergencies arise. You never know when you’ll need a kidney or help setting a bone back in place. You may even want to make sure you and your wingman share the same blood type. This is just in case you find yourself in a hospital in need of a transfusion after diving off a bar stool and slashing your neck open pretending to be Iron Man. Trust me, this scenario happens more often than you think.

6. The Walking Excuse

The Walking Excuse
The wingman is a walking excuse. Sorry wish I could stick around and chat, but I have to drop my friend off early tonight. What’s that, you saw me last week at the movies with another girl? No, couldn’t have been me. I was with my boy here all day long helping him move.
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The wingman is a walking excuse. Sorry wish I could stick around and chat, but I have to drop my friend off early tonight. What’s that, you saw me last week at the movies with another girl? No, couldn’t have been me. I was with my boy here all day long helping him move.

5. On To The Next One

On To The Next One
Another good reason to have a wingman around is to always have someone working on the next party. Any wingman worth his salt has a plan A, B and C just in case the party or bar you’re at is lamer than last year’s non-alcoholic Christmas party.
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Another good reason to have a wingman around is to always have someone working on the next party. Any wingman worth his salt has a plan A, B and C just in case the party or bar you’re at is lamer than last year’s non-alcoholic Christmas party.

4. The Counter C-Blocker

The Counter C-Blocker
The wingman’s most important job is to run interference and be a counter C-blocker. If there’s a woman you’re interested in, it’s almost a guarantee one of her friends will try to block your fun, and it’s the wingman’s job to make sure she fails. If your wingman can’t fulfill this mandatory job duty, then he must be replaced immediately by a man more conniving and clever than he ever was. It’s nothing personal, my former wingman; it’s just the circle of buffoonery at work.
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The wingman’s most important job is to run interference and be a counter C-blocker. If there’s a woman you’re interested in, it’s almost a guarantee one of her friends will try to block your fun, and it’s the wingman’s job to make sure she fails. If your wingman can’t fulfill this mandatory job duty, then he must be replaced immediately by a man more conniving and clever than he ever was. It’s nothing personal, my former wingman; it’s just the circle of buffoonery at work.

3. Sparring Partner

Sparring Partner
The night started out with high fives and handshakes but ended in flying fists and beer bottles thrown. Good thing you have your wingman around to chin check these drunken idiots you’re fighting.
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The night started out with high fives and handshakes but ended in flying fists and beer bottles thrown. Good thing you have your wingman around to chin check these drunken idiots you’re fighting.

2. Consumption Control

Consumption Control
A wingman is handy to keep around, because there is no other person in the world more familiar with your limits in regards to alcohol consumption than this guy. This is very important because as the night wears on you may lose track of how much you drink and end up overindulging. Sloppy drunks never get the girl, so a wingman should always keep his buddy just on the edge of white girl wasted.
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A wingman is handy to keep around, because there is no other person in the world more familiar with your limits in regards to alcohol consumption than this guy. This is very important because as the night wears on you may lose track of how much you drink and end up overindulging. Sloppy drunks never get the girl, so a wingman should always keep his buddy just on the edge of white girl wasted.

1. The Fugly Whisperer

The Fugly Whisperer
A wingman should be able to take the troll standing next to the woman of your dreams and dispatch of her with nothing more than fake compliments and promises to call. If you score with the hot chick, someone has to keep the fugly gal occupied, and this solemn duty falls on the drunken shoulders of the wingman. The wingman is well versed in fugly speak and should always be down to take one for the team.
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A wingman should be able to take the troll standing next to the woman of your dreams and dispatch of her with nothing more than fake compliments and promises to call. If you score with the hot chick, someone has to keep the fugly gal occupied, and this solemn duty falls on the drunken shoulders of the wingman. The wingman is well versed in fugly speak and should always be down to take one for the team.