15 Things You Should Never Do At A Strip Club

By Michael Peckerar

There’s really nothing wrong with going to a strip club. You just can’t be an idiot about it and pull stuff like this…

RELATED: 15 Things You’ve Always Wanted To Ask A Stripper

Michael Peckerar is a Content Associate for Rant Inc. “Like” him on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @michaelpeckerar, Instagram @michaelpeckerar, or add him to your network on Google.

15 Things You Should Never Do At A Strip Club
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15. The Privilege Of Using The ATM Is More Expensive Than The Dancers

The Privilege Of Using The ATM Is More Expensive Than The Dancers Credit: Facebook
If you use the ATM at a strip club, you're too stupid to deserve the money that comes out of it. The lowest transaction charge we've ever heard of... is $15. Just to access your own money. Why do they do that? Because they can.

15. The Privilege Of Using The ATM Is More Expensive Than The Dancers

If you use the ATM at a strip club, you're too stupid to deserve the money that comes out of it. The lowest transaction charge we've ever heard of... is $15. Just to access your own money. Why do they do that? Because they can.

14. Why Are You Taking Pictures? Stop Doing That. Why Is Your Phone Even Out?

Why Are You Taking Pictures? Stop Doing That. Why Is Your Phone Even Out? Credit: Twitter
Who takes pictures at the strip club? Why would you? You're not a celebrity and you're not a sorority girl. You know what professional exotic dancers look like, why do you need a photo of it? And who are you going to show a photo of you and "the boyz" at the strip club? Facebook?

14. Why Are You Taking Pictures? Stop Doing That. Why Is Your Phone Even Out?

Who takes pictures at the strip club? Why would you? You're not a celebrity and you're not a sorority girl. You know what professional exotic dancers look like, why do you need a photo of it? And who are you going to show a photo of you and "the boyz" at the strip club? Facebook?

13. Uh Huh. Yes. We See You. You're A Woman At A Strip Club. You're Edgy. We Get It.

Uh Huh. Yes. We See You. You're A Woman At A Strip Club. You're Edgy. We Get It. Credit: Twitter
Oh wow, a girl came to a strip club. Oh, and would you look at that, you're getting a lap dance because you want us to think we have a shot at a threesome if we date you. You're so edgy and cool, you're not like other girls. Because that's exactly what men want to see at a strip club -- regular women. Cover up, young lady... your desperation and daddy issues are showing.

13. Uh Huh. Yes. We See You. You're A Woman At A Strip Club. You're Edgy. We Get It.

Oh wow, a girl came to a strip club. Oh, and would you look at that, you're getting a lap dance because you want us to think we have a shot at a threesome if we date you. You're so edgy and cool, you're not like other girls. Because that's exactly what men want to see at a strip club -- regular women. Cover up, young lady... your desperation and daddy issues are showing.

12. Wednesday Afternoon Is When They Put The Third String Out

Wednesday Afternoon Is When They Put The Third String Out Credit: Pinterest
Why are you even at the strip club on a Wednesday afternoon to begin with? Don't you have a job? In fact, if you go to the strip club on any weekday afternoon, you deserve the parade of scars and prison tattoos you're presented with.

12. Wednesday Afternoon Is When They Put The Third String Out

Why are you even at the strip club on a Wednesday afternoon to begin with? Don't you have a job? In fact, if you go to the strip club on any weekday afternoon, you deserve the parade of scars and prison tattoos you're presented with.

11. There Are Much, Much, MUCH Better Places To Get A Buffet Lunch In Your Town

There Are Much, Much, MUCH Better Places To Get A Buffet Lunch In Your Town Credit: Facebook/Ritz Houston
When an establishment specializes in parading and objectifying semi-nude women for the entertainment and titillation of men who still think Lil Wayne is cool... what makes you think they can nail a seafood buffet? That's like asking Floyd Mayweather to do your appendectomy.

11. There Are Much, Much, MUCH Better Places To Get A Buffet Lunch In Your Town

When an establishment specializes in parading and objectifying semi-nude women for the entertainment and titillation of men who still think Lil Wayne is cool... what makes you think they can nail a seafood buffet? That's like asking Floyd Mayweather to do your appendectomy.

10. Get Off The Stage, Idiot

Get Off The Stage, Idiot Credit: YouTube
There is not and never will be anything funny about a drunken moron showing us his boxers on stage at a strip club. No matter how low-rent that joint is. Odds are they're offering a special deal where jumping on the stage comes with a complimentary ass-whipping.

10. Get Off The Stage, Idiot

There is not and never will be anything funny about a drunken moron showing us his boxers on stage at a strip club. No matter how low-rent that joint is. Odds are they're offering a special deal where jumping on the stage comes with a complimentary ass-whipping.

9. Holding Your Liquor Is A Matter Of Self Preservation

Holding Your Liquor Is A Matter Of Self Preservation Credit: Getty Images
How many awful stories begin with the phrase "So we were drunk at the strip club..."? Don't be one of those stories. You can have fun and get tipsy, but when you're sloshed is when people end up being led out of the joint at fistpoint. Don't be that guy.

9. Holding Your Liquor Is A Matter Of Self Preservation

How many awful stories begin with the phrase "So we were drunk at the strip club..."? Don't be one of those stories. You can have fun and get tipsy, but when you're sloshed is when people end up being led out of the joint at fistpoint. Don't be that guy.

8. Yeah, She's A Stripper But Come On. Be Nice.

Yeah, She's A Stripper But Come On. Be Nice. Credit: Twitter
Yes, strip clubs are where we go to objectify women even though we know that's wrong. It's just an agreement we have. But you don't have to be a jerk to the girls. Calling them fat from beside the stage, heckling, being rude...? Come on. She's just making a living and likely doesn't need your crap right now.

8. Yeah, She's A Stripper But Come On. Be Nice.

Yes, strip clubs are where we go to objectify women even though we know that's wrong. It's just an agreement we have. But you don't have to be a jerk to the girls. Calling them fat from beside the stage, heckling, being rude...? Come on. She's just making a living and likely doesn't need your crap right now.

7. A Lap Dance Is A Financial Transaction, Not A Sex Act

A Lap Dance Is A Financial Transaction, Not A Sex Act Credit: Pinterest
If you pay for a lap dance, just sit there and let Svetlana do her thing. She's trained in this. Don't make the "awww yeeeaahhh" face where you rub your chin and mouth before you attempt to get involved. Just smile, enjoy the dance, tip the lady, and let it be what it is.

7. A Lap Dance Is A Financial Transaction, Not A Sex Act

If you pay for a lap dance, just sit there and let Svetlana do her thing. She's trained in this. Don't make the "awww yeeeaahhh" face where you rub your chin and mouth before you attempt to get involved. Just smile, enjoy the dance, tip the lady, and let it be what it is.

6. Really? Strippers Use Def Leppard In Other Bars? That Is BRAND NEW Information!

Really? Strippers Use Def Leppard In Other Bars? That Is BRAND NEW Information! Credit: Getty Images
Don't point out 'Pour Some Sugar On Me' is the National Anthem of Stripper Nation. We all know that, and expected. It's like pointing out the hidden meaning behind 'Gangnam Style' -- stop doing that. While you're there, don't critique the dancer's musical choices. You don't write for Spin.

6. Really? Strippers Use Def Leppard In Other Bars? That Is BRAND NEW Information!

Don't point out 'Pour Some Sugar On Me' is the National Anthem of Stripper Nation. We all know that, and expected. It's like pointing out the hidden meaning behind 'Gangnam Style' -- stop doing that. While you're there, don't critique the dancer's musical choices. You don't write for Spin.

5. You're Not A Baller

5. You're Not A Baller

You work at a hardware store. You're not a rapper. Stop making it rain singles that you've been holding out in the open for an hour. Nobody's impressed and it's kind of pathetic. Tip and tip as well as you're able to -- the girls work hard -- but don't pretend you're P. Diddy when you're barely Fetty Wap.

4. You Can't Take A Break For The Super Bowl?

You Can't Take A Break For The Super Bowl? Credit: Facebook/Fantasy Island Men's Club
Why people go to strip club Super Bowl parties is an unsolvable problem. You're paying strip club prices for admission and drinks, but you're not watching strippers. How addicted to the strip club are you that you have to watch football there?

4. You Can't Take A Break For The Super Bowl?

Why people go to strip club Super Bowl parties is an unsolvable problem. You're paying strip club prices for admission and drinks, but you're not watching strippers. How addicted to the strip club are you that you have to watch football there?

3. Chris Rock Wasn't Messing Around About The Champagne Room

Chris Rock Wasn't Messing Around About The Champagne Room Credit: YouTube
He's right. Not only is there no sex in the Champagne Room, there's hardly even champagne in the Champagne Room. In fact, if you agree to go to the Champagne Room, or VIP Room, or whatever they call it -- you're why email scams exist.

3. Chris Rock Wasn't Messing Around About The Champagne Room

He's right. Not only is there no sex in the Champagne Room, there's hardly even champagne in the Champagne Room. In fact, if you agree to go to the Champagne Room, or VIP Room, or whatever they call it -- you're why email scams exist.

2. You vs. The Bouncer Is A Losing Battle

You vs. The Bouncer Is A Losing Battle Credit: Facebook
People who test strip club bouncers are why we can't have nice things. If he says "Go sit down", you need to go sit down. If he says it's time for you to leave, you tell him "thank you" for not telling you with his fist. Do. Not. Test. The. Bouncer.

2. You vs. The Bouncer Is A Losing Battle

People who test strip club bouncers are why we can't have nice things. If he says "Go sit down", you need to go sit down. If he says it's time for you to leave, you tell him "thank you" for not telling you with his fist. Do. Not. Test. The. Bouncer.

1. We Can Go Ahead And Tell You Right Now How Amateur Night Is Going To Go

We Can Go Ahead And Tell You Right Now How Amateur Night Is Going To Go Credit: Pinterest

Poorly

It's not called Amateur Night because they bring the A-squad. Don't go to Amateur Night. The only reason anyone goes is to see how your mom's doing.

1. We Can Go Ahead And Tell You Right Now How Amateur Night Is Going To Go

Poorly

It's not called Amateur Night because they bring the A-squad. Don't go to Amateur Night. The only reason anyone goes is to see how your mom's doing.