15 Great Excuses To Give Your Boss To Get Out Of Work

15 Great Excuses To Give Your Boss To Get Out Of Work

15 Great Excuses To Give Your Boss To Get Out Of Work
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They always say "it's 5:00 p.m. somewhere." How do you turn "somewhere" into "here" when you really need it?

15. There's An Emergency With My Car

15. There's An Emergency With My Car
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15. There's An Emergency With My Car

15. There's An Emergency With My Car
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The mechanic called -- Betsy might be running a fever. I have to go check on her. It's a car parent thing. You can't be too careful when it comes to your little ones.

14. It's Opening Day

14. It's Opening Day
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14. It's Opening Day

14. It's Opening Day
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Technically, your boss should be giving you Opening Day off anyway. In fact, it'd almost be unpatriotic to make someone work on Opening Day. What kind of outfit are you running, here?

13. I Have A Request...

13. I Got Someone To Cover My Shift

13. I Have A Request...

13. I Got Someone To Cover My Shift

Instead of an excuse, request the proper snack. TPS reports will go from mundane to a blast when you snap into a Slim Jim. Your positive attitude may even lead to a promotion. It's poetry in motion -- just watch.

12. Claim Your Stretch Of Freeway Was Seized By Pirates

12. Claim Your Stretch Of Freeway Was Seized By Pirates
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12. Claim Your Stretch Of Freeway Was Seized By Pirates

12. Claim Your Stretch Of Freeway Was Seized By Pirates
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There's not much you can do. The pirates are clearly in control. You just have to look at them, accept they're the captain now, and call it a work-from-home day. It's a question of national security, really.

11. I Was On A Winning Streak

11. I Had A Hot Hand In
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11. I Was On A Winning Streak

11. I Had A Hot Hand In
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Sometimes when you're on a tear, you just forget about everything else ... like work, for example. The world blurs around you, and all you see are snipers and dog tags. It's a mad world -- we just live in it.

10. It's Graduation Day At Obedience School

10. It's Graduation Day At Obedience School
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10. It's Graduation Day At Obedience School

10. It's Graduation Day At Obedience School
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It's not so much seeing the graduation -- it's finally getting all your rugs cleaned. They really tie the room together and now that Fido isn't messing them up, this is an all-day thing.

9. My Buddy Has Tickets For The Ballet

9. My Buddy Has Tickets For The Ballet
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9. My Buddy Has Tickets For The Ballet

9. My Buddy Has Tickets For The Ballet
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Here's why this works: Who in their right mind is going to question someone who looks them dead in the face and says their guys' day out is the ballet? He doesn't have to know you're going fishing. Just say ballet and the boss will let you out just to avoid hearing any more.

8. My Frequent Flyer Miles Expire Tonight

8. My Frequent Flyer Miles Expire Tonight
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8. My Frequent Flyer Miles Expire Tonight

8. My Frequent Flyer Miles Expire Tonight
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You know how it is ... use 'em or lose 'em, right? I've never seen Des Moines this time of year. I hear it's beautiful.

7. So My Buddy Is In This ... Situation ...

7. So My Buddy Is In This... Situation...
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7. So My Buddy Is In This... Situation...

7. So My Buddy Is In This... Situation...
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When the phone rings, and your bro says something's wrong -- you go. I've found it's best to not ask questions in times like this. The less said the better. Trust me ...

6. Six-Foot Breakers At The Point All Day, Bro

6. Six Foot Breakers At The Point All Day, Bro
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6. Six-Foot Breakers At The Point All Day, Bro

6. Six Foot Breakers At The Point All Day, Bro
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Even if the boss doesn't surf, they'll understand. Even if you don't surf. You'll understand. In fact, you don't even have to say actual surfing terms. Just say "dude" a lot and it'll work.

5. I Can't Get Anything Done With Mercury In Retrograde

5. I Can't Get Anything Done With Mercury In Retrograde
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5. I Can't Get Anything Done With Mercury In Retrograde

5. I Can't Get Anything Done With Mercury In Retrograde
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Up is down, left is right, black is white -- it's a crazy, mixed-up world gone mad. I mean, why did we even come in this week? It's just not safe.

4. I Have, Like, Two More Episodes Left Of My Favorite Series

4. I Have Like Two More Episodes Left On
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4. I Have, Like, Two More Episodes Left Of My Favorite Series

4. I Have Like Two More Episodes Left On
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Look, you're the one who made me work the second shift all last week. My DVR is full of these shows and they're not going to watch themselves. You made your choice.

3. My Girlfriend Says There's A Spider In The Living Room

3. My Girlfriend Says There's A Spider In The Living Room
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3. My Girlfriend Says There's A Spider In The Living Room

3. My Girlfriend Says There's A Spider In The Living Room
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Yeah, I'm going to need to take care of this. She says she might literally die. You know how it is when the spider that is a tenth of her size just shows up. We can't have her literally die.

2. There's A Huge Cricket Match On Today

2. There's A Huge Cricket Match On Today
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2. There's A Huge Cricket Match On Today

2. There's A Huge Cricket Match On Today
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It's the finals -- two-day test match. It's one of the biggest matches of the year. If New Zealand doesn't beat South Africa, I'm not responsible for my actions.

1. It's Daylight Saving Week, And Today Is Saturday

1. It's Daylight Saving Week. Today's Saturday
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1. It's Daylight Saving Week, And Today Is Saturday

1. It's Daylight Saving Week. Today's Saturday
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Nobody told you? Spring ahead! It's not Thursday -- we went ahead two days. It's Saturday. It was all over the news, man. Maybe get out more.

I get it, man. Work can totally suck.
But what if this happened??

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