15 Ways To Get Out Of Chores You Really Don't Want To Do

15 Ways To Get Out Of Chores You Really Don't Want To Do

15 Ways To Get Out Of Chores You Don't Want To Do
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We all have stuff we don't feel like doing. Do you really have to do it though? Not if you follow this handy guide.

15. Vanish Completely

15. Vanish Completely
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15. Vanish Completely

15. Vanish Completely
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You didn't leave the premises -- you're just invisible thanks to modern military tactics. Use a ghillie suit if needed. Think back to that weekend paintball session. If you can dodge shots from seven teenagers in face masks, you can hide from a vacuum-cleaning job.

14. Bring Up How Poorly Things Went The Last Time

13. Bring Up How Poorly Things Went The Last Time
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14. Bring Up How Poorly Things Went The Last Time

13. Bring Up How Poorly Things Went The Last Time
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Do you really want a repeat of the Drywall Incident of 2013? Because I've got a chest full of power tools I have no idea how to use and a whole Saturday to kill. Your call, Diane.

13. Ask For The Proper Requisition Forms (In Triplicate)

13. Ask For The Proper Requisition Forms (In Triplicate)
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13. Ask For The Proper Requisition Forms (In Triplicate)

13. Ask For The Proper Requisition Forms (In Triplicate)
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It's important to follow company procedure. Nothing gets done without the proper paperwork. It's not your fault corporate needs a paper trail. Liability and what not.

12. Do Them On Your Own Terms

12. Admit You're Not The Best Man For The Job

12. Do Them On Your Own Terms

12. Admit You're Not The Best Man For The Job

Fine, you'll do the chores. But, they'll be done your way. Snap into a Slim Jim and you'll be ready to get after it. With Slim Jim as your motivation, you'll be done in no time.

11. Demand To Know What Your Character's Motivation Is

11. Demand To Know What Your Character's Motivation Is
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11. Demand To Know What Your Character's Motivation Is

11. Demand To Know What Your Character's Motivation Is
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You're not really feeling the scene. What exactly would drive your character to clean the guest bathroom? In fact, you should probably just head back to your trailer for the afternoon. There's snacks there and you can go over the script. It's called method acting, thank you very much.

10. Unionize

10. Unionize
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10. Unionize

10. Unionize
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You can't do laundry without at least two breaks, and you require a crew of six. Power to the people! Strike! She doesn't want to mix it up with Local 242. You'll shut this house down until your insane demands are met. Bonus points if you can form a crooked union.

9. Invent A "Shortcut"

9. Invent A
Pinterest

9. Invent A "Shortcut"

9. Invent A
Pinterest

It's easier that way... because you'll never be asked to do the thing again. Who wants to wait five minutes for the candle to heat up the teapot, just so the frog will get scared and hop onto the pie catapult? You're kicking back and catching up on some texts while the ball bearings and motor oil do their thing.

8. Use An App

8. Invent An App For It
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8. Use An App

8. Invent An App For It
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There are apps for everything, including some for the chores you hate. Thank you, technology!

7. Challenge The Call On The Field

7. Challenge The Call On The Field
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7. Challenge The Call On The Field

7. Challenge The Call On The Field
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Remember, you must have indisputable video evidence. Throw the flag, burn your timeout, and wait for those words we all want to hear ... "Upon further review, the dishes did not soak long enough. The call on the field is reversed ... first down."

6. Develop A Sudden And Very Specific Allergy To That Task

6. Develop A Sudden And Very Specific Allergy To That Task
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6. Develop A Sudden And Very Specific Allergy To That Task

6. Develop A Sudden And Very Specific Allergy To That Task
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Of course moving furniture makes you break out in hives. It's not like you want this life. It's just what the universe saddled you with. It's your lot in life to sneeze every time the gutters need cleaning out.

5. Demand To Speak With Your Cousin The Lawyer

5. Demand To Speak With Your Cousin The Lawyer
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5. Demand To Speak With Your Cousin The Lawyer

5. Demand To Speak With Your Cousin The Lawyer
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It's (probably) your constitutional right. Your cousin Jeff in Des Moines is a defense attorney and gives you the family discount. Jeff's got your back, fam.

4. Take Your Sweet Time On The Really Important Chores

4. Take Your Sweet Time On The Really Important Chores
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4. Take Your Sweet Time On The Really Important Chores

4. Take Your Sweet Time On The Really Important Chores
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This turbocharger isn't going to install itself, y'know. It's delicate work ... maybe another 4-5 hours. You can't rush these things. I know the dishes need putting away, but the extra 20 HP is vital to our work here. Maybe you get it started and I'll catch up when I'm done.

3. Cite The Geneva Convention

3. Cite The Geneva Convention
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3. Cite The Geneva Convention

3. Cite The Geneva Convention
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Sorry. Under article six-six-twelve-niner-foxtrot ... this chore is simply illegal. I can't help you -- it's the law. And besides, who's going to take the time to read the entire Geneva Convention? It's like ... a lot of pages. They'll take you on your word. Nobody wants to stand in front of a war crimes tribunal.

2. Threaten To Invite Chad And Boomer To Help Out

2. Threaten To Invite Chad And Boomer To Help Out
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2. Threaten To Invite Chad And Boomer To Help Out

2. Threaten To Invite Chad And Boomer To Help Out
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Because things never, ever, ever go wrong when these two help out. Ever. Do we need to remind you about what happened in Vegas two summers ago? Is that what you want in the guest bathroom? Make your choice, because they've got nothing but time to kill.

1. Take An Environmental Stand

1. Take An Environmental Stand
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1. Take An Environmental Stand

1. Take An Environmental Stand
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It's the only rainforest we've got. Do you want to ruin it with laundry? Have a seat while I go grab those pamphlets. Do you know how many acres of rainforest one vacuumed carpet destroys? It's probably a lot.

Are all these chores making you hungry?
Time to hit the beach with your favorite snack like my man below.

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