Ways To Actually Enjoy Staff Meetings

Ways To Actually Enjoy Staff Meetings

15 Ways To Make Your Staff Meetings More Interesting
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Even if you're at the job of your dreams, chances are the staff meetings are still going to be boring. Here's how you can switch things up.

Wipe Your Nose Every Time The Speaker Looks At You

14. Wipe Your Nose Every Time The Speaker Looks At You
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Wipe Your Nose Every Time The Speaker Looks At You

14. Wipe Your Nose Every Time The Speaker Looks At You
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Do nothing else. Just wipe your nose -- subtly. Then enjoy watching them try to casually wipe their nose to make sure you're not giving them a hint. Bonus if you can get them to blow their nose mid-meeting.

Drink Seven Espressos Beforehand, And Do What Comes Naturally

6. Drink Seven Espressos Beforehand. Do What Comes Naturally
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Drink Seven Espressos Beforehand, And Do What Comes Naturally

6. Drink Seven Espressos Beforehand. Do What Comes Naturally
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You'll be able to get two week's worth of information out in one sentence. It'll be great. You'll get so much done and be so attentive and everyone will want to hear you and it'll lead to a promotion and you'll be in charge and they'll call you boss and maybe you'll move to a bigger apartment and buy a nicer car and holy cow I have got to pee so bad ...

Snap Into The Right Snacks

13. Break Out The SlimJims
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Snap Into The Right Snacks

13. Break Out The SlimJims
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It's kind of a no-brainer, if you think about it. What else do you do when things are boring? You snap into a Slim Jim, spice things up, and sit back and wait for that promotion.

Answer Everything With Gangsta Rap Lyrics

DMX
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Answer Everything With Gangsta Rap Lyrics

DMX
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"How many invoices would you say we've processed this week, Chad?"
"One, two, three and to the four ..."
"And we've been paid for them?"
"Dolla dolla bills, y'all!"

Keep Score

2. Keep Score
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Keep Score

2. Keep Score
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Just don't tell anyone what your scoring system is. Keep marking stuff off on your pad, and on the way out, congratulate Steve for his big win.

Blast The Air Horn From The Club

15. Blast The Air Horn From The Club
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Blast The Air Horn From The Club

15. Blast The Air Horn From The Club
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What up whatuuuuuup!!! Time to get crunked uuup for this stizaff meeeting!!! When you hear that horn, it's time to go offff!!

Don't Answer Any Questions -- Just Stare

3. Don't Answer Any Questions. Just Stare.
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Don't Answer Any Questions -- Just Stare

3. Don't Answer Any Questions. Just Stare.
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Don't say anything, just stare. See how long it takes for anyone to catch on. No matter what, don't break the stare.

Start A Paper Football Game

10. Start A Paper Football Game
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Start A Paper Football Game

10. Start A Paper Football Game
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Just don't tell Aaron you're playing. In fact, don't tell anyone. Just flick the paper football across the table like you did in middle school, hold up your finger uprights, and wait for Aaron to kick it back. He knows what he's supposed to do.

Keep Asking Everyone What Their Name Is

1. Keep Asking Everyone What Their Name Is
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Keep Asking Everyone What Their Name Is

1. Keep Asking Everyone What Their Name Is
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It doesn't matter that you've worked together for six years. "What was your name, again?" will never stop being funny.

Speculate About Everyone Else's Lunch

8. Speculate About Everyone Else's Lunch
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Speculate About Everyone Else's Lunch

8. Speculate About Everyone Else's Lunch
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Base it on what you smell and what's on their tie, and try to figure out what everyone ate. Bonus points if you can approach them after the meeting to see if you're right.

Answer And Ask Every Question With A Different Accent

11. Answer And Ask Every Question With A Different Accent
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Answer And Ask Every Question With A Different Accent

11. Answer And Ask Every Question With A Different Accent
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That way your whole office will wonder if you really did grow up in Boston with one parent from South Africa and another from Russia. That is, of course, before you moved to Alabama.

Set Up A Bunch Of Army Men On The Table

4. Set Up A Bunch Of Army Men On The Table
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Set Up A Bunch Of Army Men On The Table

4. Set Up A Bunch Of Army Men On The Table
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It's easier if you get to your seat first and set them up before the meeting starts. Then, ignore them completely. Act like they're not even there. Ask "What toys?"

Try To Wrestle A Co-worker

5. Try To Force Choke Jeff From Marketing
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Try To Wrestle A Co-worker

5. Try To Force Choke Jeff From Marketing
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Tell him you find his lack of TPS reports....disturbing. The ability to collate expense reports is insignificant compared to the power of The Force.

Call The Guy With The Awful Ringtone That Never Keeps His Phone On Silent

Cell Phone
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Call The Guy With The Awful Ringtone That Never Keeps His Phone On Silent

Cell Phone
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If everyone knows Jonathan never puts his phone on silent, and you know his ringtone is utterly bonkers -- you call him. Sneak your phone under the table, call him, and watch the caravan of fun make its way to you.

Take Up Birdwatching

Western Tanager
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Take Up Birdwatching

Western Tanager
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Not just take it up, but get absolutely, dead serious about it. Every conference room has a window, and that's a perfect chance to fill out that Audubon card. When you jump up for joy and do a celebration dance because you finally observed the Western Tanager -- that's winning.

I get it, bro. Staff meetings are a bore.
But what if this happened??

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